Chivalry - Passe in 2007?

I wrote and posted this in an online discussion group that I frequent. Since I was involved in a discussion, I have summarized the contents for easier reading in this blog as follows. This happened to me yesterday (August 7, 2007):

****************************

Well, I wasn't expecting this on my way out of the office yesterday.

Our office has, what many corporate towers have, those revolving type doors. On my way out, I noticed this woman who was heading to the door the same time as me, so I, figuring it's polite to let the other person go first, stuck out my hand to indicate, "you first". She snapped at me and replied, "Don't treat me like a **#$%% girl!" and then proceeded to go through the doors and stomped off. I was shocked. I had no idea what she meant as I walked to my car and I could only conclude that she didn't appreciate me letting her go first as a lady (which, by the way, I am reassessing). I found this so strange, since if it was a guy and we both were there at the same time, I would have let him through first as well. All that being said though - I generally try to exercise more manners around ladies (ie. never burp or pass gas, etc. in the presence of a lady - that is, not audibly). I then go thinking on the way home - I don't know ANYONE who would have acted like that - most people are glad that you let them go first. I can only conclude that she had a bad day.

I am not sure if chivalry is dead or even appreciated these days - this is the first time that I wondered whether times have changed in this department as well. I know my wife likes it when I hold the door open for her, push in her chair, etc., but not sure if this type of behaviour is considered more "old fashioned" now.

Given the fact that I still think that it is proper to afford simple courtesies to others, even if it inconveniences me, I will of course put on the fun devil's advocate cap and consider the situation from a different angle...

I would never do this, but I wondered what would happen if I were to have no gestured for her to go ahead, but instead, walk faster to beat her into the revolving door, almost nudging her aside in the process. While I am not a betting man, I would have bet that her reaction would have not been a good one, since I would have been considered rude for barging ahead of her.

All that being said, if I were to do it over again, I wouldn't have changed a thing (yes, I would even do the hand gesture, as that is just natural for me to do - I let people in elevators this way all the time). I have no problems with allowing others to go ahead of me in doorways, etc., and if someone allows me to go first, I ALWAYS say thank you to them, whether they are male or female (since I genuinely appreciate the gesture). Maybe it's not a male/female thing, but based on what she said and how she said it, I would have had to conclude that she thought it was a gender slap, which was unfortunate, since that was far from the intention.