Father's Day Thoughts

As I'm sure you all know, this Sunday is Father's Day. This is one of those days which I believe is not given the rightful reverence that it should. Mother's Day is cause of countless cards and gifts and mooshy phone calls to talk radio stations and such. And as it should be. Mothers play a key role in raising children, but let's not forget all the fathers out there who also play a pivotal role. Lately, you've been reading about me harping on certain ghetto communities around Toronto where, generally (I am sorry to say), they are comprised of families without fathers. You look at how the kids turn out, even raised by a hard-working single mother. Kids need both parents and not just a parent, but they need a father - someone to guide, encourage, teach and most importantly, correct them. This is particularly important with boys.

Case in point - how many times have you heard in your lifetime a child (mostly boys) refusing to do something because "my father will kill me!" While obviously, the words are exaggerated, it shows a healthy fear of one of the authorities in one's life. Fathers are often not given their due because they are oftentimes supporting their child in ways that society no longer feels has a direct impact. Fathers and sons do not need to sit there and hug each other all day, tears in their eyes, and whisper sweet "I love you, Dad" and "I love you, son" ad nauseum. That's not how men and boys communicate and I'd appreciate it if the left-leaning liberal politically correct machine would stop trying to make boys (and men) act like a bunch of pansies. That is not how God made us, so stop trying to change it. It ain't gonna work.

It was telling this morning on one of the talk shows where the host said for sons to express their love to their fathers through words, by calling into the station. Not a single man called, when they opened up the line. Nope, I didn't even consider it. Sorry to say, that stunt was pretty...well, gay. Men aren't going to call up a station, identify themselves, and start wordsmithing a Carlton Cards moment to their Dad. I certainly wasn't going to call in - my own Dad would have been embarrassed to hear me start talking like a European actor. No, it's OK....really...

Now, does this all mean that sons don't love their fathers? Of course not! But boys and men have different ways of showing love to their Dads. Why do women feel as if they have to project their own ideas of parental relational manifestations onto these poor sons? I think that fathers have a primary responsibility to provide for their kids and family (yes, that includes the wife, all you femi-nazis), and spend time with their kids. But how that plays out is much different than women and daughters. A perfectly happy father and son would be more than content to watch a hockey game or basketball game together, all the while, not conversing with one another. Of course, the femi-nazis will be up in arms over the lack of communication, but we men are not women, damn it! We bond by doing things together, not talking. Ask any man that.

My Dad spent countless hours watching hockey games with me and it became a nice father-son ritual. I have a great relationship with my Dad today (at least I think so) and he is forming a wonderful bond with my own son - they would go do activities together and my boy looks up to his Grandpa so much. My Dad also made sure food was put on the table, that his kids were well looked after. He drove us everywhere without complaint, though I'm sure many times it was inconvenient for him. He taught me life skills that I have carried on since and have passed on to my son. My Dad taught me to be self-sufficient in everything I do, and put up with the many mistakes I made on the way. He instilled the value of hard work on his sons (and daughter, but I'm focussing on boys here), and that has shown, as now that my brother and I are in the workplace, we have received glowing reviews from our employers year after year. We give credit to our parents, but a lot to my Dad, for putting the value of hard work on our brain. It was an honour for me to have him select the Chinese name for our son.

The best way for me to show love to my Dad is to give him the respect and honour that he deserves. He recently told me he had a computer problem - I quickly made arrangments to go and help him. In fact, to this day, if he were to ask me to do something, I would probably do it, no questions asked. I will never be able to repay him for all that he has done for me in my lifetime, but the least I can do is to thank him in ways which are practical and tangible (helping him out when he needs it, and even if he doesn't, is a big part of that). Most sons, I believe, feel similarly towards their Dads. Sometimes, it doesn't have to be about conversing for hours in order to constitute a relationship. Sometimes, all it takes is just for fathers and kids just to hang out, go golfing together, have a beer together or the old fashioned throw the football around.