It is not often that a book that I buy on a lark, speaks to me on so many levels. Michael Leahy's "Porn Nation" is a huge exception. I purchased this book through a Christian bookstore closing last year, at a discounted price. Even if it wasn't discounted, I would have purchased it anyway, since the topic would have intrigued me, due to my past issues with what I would describe as pornography addiction (truth be told, I believe no one is truly ever healed from such addictions, but rather they are controlled. Still, it is a topic that has personal interest and application to me. I read heavily (and I mean heavily) and tend to use a bit of discernment in what books I buy (since I am not independently wealthy, but also don't want to read foolishness or stupidity - there are a lot of books out there, Christian and non-Christian, which fall in the previously mentioned categories), so for me to be recommending any book, you will have to know that it has passed my personal standards for quality in content, writing, subject matter, etc. (I realize that this is subjective from person to person, but as I read a lot, I tend to be more discriminating than most).
While this is meant to be a short review (and I mean short), I want to summarize the book as consisely as possible, yet not give away key points and illustrations, since it would be far better if you were to read it for yourself.
I have no idea if this is officially a "Christian" book or not. Sure, I got it at the Christian bookstore, but after reading it, I can say that don't expect too much theology out of it. If you are looking for an exhaustive study of lust from a Biblical viewpoint, you are out of luck. There are other books like that, that I can recommend (and also some that I would recommend you avoid). But in this realm of porn and lust addiction, there are only a small handful of books that I would recommend. One is "Every Man's Battle" by Arterburn and Stoeker (forget their first names, I think Arterburn is Steve). Another is Michael Leahy's "Porn Nation".
So why do I like this book so much? First, he shares his personal story, which is quite remarkable and extremely sad at the same time, and he does so without beating around the bush. So often, Christian books tend to tackle the topic of porn addiction with kid gloves, oftentimes dancing around the subject and injecting Bible passages (some of which are out of context) to pad the book. Authors tend to really draw a vague picture of a situation and let you form your own conclusions as to what he meant (I say he, as most porn addicts are men). Leahy does not do this, but really opens himself up to share his thoughts and feelings about his past experiences with porn, how he got into it, and how it ruined his life, his family and set him on a course that was leading to suicide. The reader really feels for him, as he describes how he tried to hide his addiction, lie about it and cover it up.
What really struck me was that he included his ex-wife's diary entries in which she poured her heart out in how his addictions and his affairs were just ruining their marriage and their family. I cried as I read these chapters, recognizing that it can just as easily have been me (or any one of you) in his shoes. He does not paint himself to be a saint nor does he have any heroic stories to share, but what he writes is a powerful incentive to anyone who does not think that ingesting pornography is not destructive. I remember reading the chapters (by the way, I read his book in pretty much one sitting, which is very rare for me, since I have a short attention span - I usually take weeks and maybe months to go through a book, oftentimes writing notes it in and critiquing it from various language, grammar and structure perspectives) and thinking to myself that this is a stark reminder of the personal toll that it can have on a person and their families. And I am reminded and am glad that I am not willing to do such a thing to my own family - I just love them way too much. But I do know that this is a temptation, and a constant one, for most men; most times, no one simply talks about it.
I like the fact that in the crux of the book, he is not offering any instant overnight solutions. He does give some very practical solutions, but it is up to the addict to follow them. And he does share a spiritual component that was key to his continued recovery. He now goes on college campuses and does a traveling debate series with porn legend Ron Jeremy, sharing his story and countering Jeremy's claim that porn is acceptable and will not hurt anyone.
The book is written in a very easy-to-read fashion. It is not easily to read, but the concepts run deep; it is spiritual, but not preachy. While I wouldn't say that his story has a happy ending per se, it ends more optimistically than it began (which I think is also more realistic than the books which claim that porn addicts can be instantly healed). The realness of the book really makes it stand out from all others on this topic. It is in this vein that I would give this book my highest recommendation, particularly to those men out there who have gone through such addictions. It is not only a worthwhile read, but it is an encouraging one as well.
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2 comments:
Leahy's books are generally pretty good. He really blows the lid on the illusions in our culture around the subject of porn. His two newest, Porn University and Porn @ Work, are pretty decent too.
You might also like Samson and the Pirate Monks. Not exclusively about porn or lust, but a great story for those who are looking for a biblical community that will really help them break free of addictive patterns.
http://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/2009/05/13/book-review-samson-and-the-pirate-monks/
Thanks Luke, this is very helpful.
There seems to be a somewhat accepting tone in churches nowadays in terms of this topic, or at the very least, the tone is such that there are bigger fish to fry, but I think that if this is their viewpoint, they've already lost the battle. I think the most important thing a Christian can do (whether new or veteran) is to find a solid Bible believing church which collectively strives towards encouraging their congregation towards holy living, especially in this area. Then, it's also who you surround yourself with - I tell you, there are lots of Christians out there who openly admit they watch porn and don't seem to think much of it, or talk in such a way that there are sexual innuendos everywhere. That is not helpful.
Thanks for the book suggestions - I'll be sure to check them out.
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