Preach It, Barack Obama - There IS A Problem In the Black Community

This is, like, the only time EVER that I will heap anything close to praise for something Barack Obama said. Truth be told, while I've been following the U.S. presidential race and primaries since the whole thing began, with a new child in the family, I've not had as much interest in fervently commenting on the primary season, which of course, is now over and we will have Barack Obama and John McCain duking it out in November. Not the best candidates each party has to offer, but oh well...

But back to Obama - I cringe everytime I hear this guy talk - I swear, he sounds like an enthusiastic snake oil salesman. Speaks in platitudes and generalities, and why not? His experience is sorely lacking - he needs to make up for it in the only way a politician can - by generating revolutionary sound bytes and catch-phrases in order to ignite the imagination of a political audience who is cynical, despondent, and perhaps even ambivalent towards anything political.

But...his recent comments regarding problems in the black community, particularly in the area of absentee fathers and broken homes for black children was quite a welcome breath of fresh air (on Father's Day, no doubt). I mean, this is nothing new - Bill Cosby has been preaching this for years, yet for whatever reason, it seems as if when bright, highly educated Black folks like Cosby or Obama (well, not sure how bright he is, but anyhow) point a finger at the Black community and pours criticism on them for problems that are seriously over-represented in that community, they usually end up having charges of reverse discrimination, being an "Uncle Tom", "race traitor" and such thrown at them. Obama has been receiving some criticism for his words. But you know, I think this is symptomatic of what he is saying - not taking responsibility for one's actions.

You know, in my younger years when I was haplessly idealistic, naively egalitarian, and would rather turn a blind eye to a problem for fear of offending people, I would never have agreed to such a statement as what Obama and Cosby are saying. Hey, it's not just them - look at those loudmouths Louis Farrakkan (sp.) and Jesse Jackson - they all had that Million Man March back in 1995 - wasn't that sort of saying the same thing?

Now, I know what you are thinking - I certainly cannot be painting all Black people with the same brush. Of course I'm not - I do personally have several Black friends who are in strong, committed marriages, who discipline their kids and raise them right, who don't cry racism at the drop of a hat. I am smart enough to know that I cannot simply paint one broad brush on the "Black community" - which, incidentally is a bit of a peculiar term, since those Black folks I know do not associate with any "Black community" - I wonder whether this is more of a media construct than anything else.

But back to the point - Obama is touching primarily on the issues of Black men who disappear after porking their latest Black female, and producing a child. Who of course, ends up growing up without a father, and despite what the liberal media will tell you about the virtues of a strong single mother, let's all cut the bullshit here, shall we? It has been statistically proven over and over again (not to mention this is just basic common sense) that children from single-parent homes are many times more likely to join a gang, father a child at a very young age, or get pregnant at a very young age, get in trouble with the law, drop out of school, and so forth.

What gets me are these Black people who seem to have blinders on who say that single-parent families are not exclusive to the Black race. That is technically true, but my goodness, how can anyone deny the fact that over 50% of Black kids in the U.S. and Canada are not raised in a home where there is a father and mother present? I can you tell this - there is no better confirmation of something I hear than to see it myself. Several weeks ago, my wife (yes, the only one that I have), my kids (yes, I had them with my wife) and I went to a kids' party establishment. For whatever reason, at either of the locations of this establishment that we have frequented, there is a pronounced number of Black kids there (don't know why, can't be bothered to figure it out). Anyhow, it was of no surprise for me to see that only about 35% of these kids came with a mother and father (whether they were married, I wasn't sure). Yet, 90% of the White kids there, around 90% of the East Indian kids, and 95% of the Asian kids had both fathers and mothers present (and the ones that didn't, you could see that the mothers had wedding bands on - yes, I notice these types of things, and no, I wasn't looking for a date).

Now, I work at the corner of a major intersection in Toronto (and by major, I mean major - like, both of these intersecting streets encompass the length and width of the city, if not ore). On one of the streets, about a 10 minute drive Westbound, you will find perhaps the most notorious intersection in Toronto for crime and such. Again, when I was young and stupid, I used to think that that intersection's crime rate was a figment of the press' imagination. I've been there during the day (just driving through, though I've since learned to take severe detours around that intersection - even if it costs me an extra 15 minutes to do so). Let me tell you what I have seen and heard there. 1) I have seen several gangs openly doing drug deals (yes, I know what a gang looks like and what drugs look like). 2) I have heard gunshots during the freaking day - yes, I know what a gunshot sounds like. 3) I have seen all manner of complete lack of respect - ie. two young punks were trying to beat the light in crossing the street and plowed over an old man - which they didn't even bother checking to see if he was OK - he was. 4) it was a harem of single motherhood. Oh, did I mention that everyone in that neighbourhood was Black?

I am sorry, but whatever you may hear about Asians, I can confirm that the rate of children being raised in two-parent homes (and I mean a mother and father, not that gay/lesbian shit that has been all over the press lately) is significantly higher. In fact, in the whole time growing up, I think I only know or one or two Asian families whose mother and father figures divorced. I'm sure it's slightly higher now, based on the poisonous North America anti-marriage culture, but I can bet every dollar in my bank account that it is still nowhere near the epidemic proportions of out-of-wedlock births and single-parent homes that just permeate in the Black community. I'm pretty sure my fellow Asians aren't lining up the jails and penitentiaries. I'm almost certain that a high majority of gun crime in Toronto is not perpetrated by Asians. Heck, I think I'd be comfortable in saying that White folks, who have experienced a high incidence of divorce as this sad scenario continues to rise statistically, are still by and large more likely to be in two-parent homes, as compared to Black folks.

Now, onto a topic that is a favourite of mine: guns. Let's be honest here - who commits most of the gun crimes in the U.S.? Despite the fact that millions of Whites have guns, it's not the Whites perpetrating the crimes (sure, you'll see the Columbines and what not where White people are "featured", but for every reported White crime with a gun, I guarantee there are many more unreported Black crimes with guns. But of course, it is not fashionable to paint Blacks in a negative light nowadays, so the generally left-leaning press tends to ignore it. I find it funny that these "Black leaders" are calling for gun bans and extreme gun control measures, yet the eventual targets of these proposed bans would be mostly law abiding White folks. Consider this as well - you see guys like 50 Cent who, on both his "Get Rich or Die Trying" and "The Massacre" albums - by the way, both albums are pretty good from a music perspective even though the lyrics aren't exactly the more family-oriented - both of these albums feature 50 Cent and his posse holding Tec-9s, 9mm handguns, some assault rifles, and so all, while they are all dressed up in gang regalia. You ever see a White person dressed like this holding all these weapons? We'd probably all laugh at it. But for Black rappers for the most part, this is commonplace - and in a sense, it is almost portrayed as cool, and kids (and adults) buy into this. I remember when I was a teenager, the big controversy was Ice-T's track, "F*ck The Police", which at the time generated great concern among a number of folks. These days, no one would bat an eyelash, as Blacks seem to almost be synonymous with gangs and drive-by shootings, etc. I mean, looking like a pimp is not only in fashion in the Black community, but exudes an air of street credibility, and life experience (forget the fact that the practice is not exactly legal or moral).

I happened to turn to a radio call-in show on the car ride home from work today, and they interviewed a Black guy from Africa on this. He says that this problem with Blacks is U.S. issue - it's not like that in Africa at all. Is he kidding me? Africa - the place where the largest incidence of A.I.D.S. occurs. No, it's not because African males are bonking monkeys, as urban legend would have it (at least not anymore). Fact of the matter is, in Africa, Blacks encounter the same thing - lots of fatherless children, and the A.I.D.S. virus is passed by men having several women partners (whether by a polygamous "relationship" or wild, heathenistic living. Don't believe me? My wife and I sponsor an adorable little girl in Africa (Rwanda, to be exact). Her father and mother are not married. Where is the father? In jail. Sounds familiar?

Last year, I hired a guy at work from Africa. Aside from the fact that he really didn't do his job properly and we ended letting him go, I got to know him as a person through the number of months he was with us. I found out that he had two kids - ah, that's great, I said. I asked him why they didn't come to Canada with him. He said they are with their mother. I said, "oh, you mean your wife?" He said, "I'm not married". Sound familiar?

I keep in touch with this 46-year-old lady from Alabama, to whom I sold some Michael J. Fox collectibles. She has given me great insight on the American South, and have confirmed some of what I had always thought about the South. She did tell me, interestingly enough, that racism is alive and well there. However, it is her opinion (she she says is echoed by many) that she would never date a Black man. And I mean never. She said where she lives, the Asians there are "hard working and treated like Whites". The Blacks, however, no matter how hard working, are still not regarded well. And I think we're starting to see a subtle backlash now. Growing up, my parents were of the mindset that "you marry your own kind", though they added the caveat that "if you do decide to marry of a different race, please let it be anyone other than Black." Now, I will be the first to admit that Asian have their own hangups and can be one of the more racist groups out there (though as a general rule, Asians never have the balls to actually tell someone else how they feel about their race - ie. Asian parents are not likely to confront their daughter's Black boyfriend and tell him to get lost, at least not explicitly. Anyway, I am mentioning this because I am still seeing this nowadays talking with parents who have teenage kids - there's still an "anyone but Black" mentality out there. But whereas before I was disgusted at this sentiment, now that I look at it objectively, based on my observations, would I be happy with my daughter dating a Black guy, knowing what I know about the rate of out-of-wedlock teenage pregnancies among Black women (or White women who obviously try to be Black)? Probably not. If you are shocked by this, think about what you would do in your situation.

Why is it like this? I am neither a sociologist or anthropologist, so I cannot be definitively sure, but I can say a few things. One, is that similar things beget similar things. It's not really all that different from the oft-mentioned notion that victims of physical or sexual abuse as children, tend to become perpetrators of the same once they become adults. After all, like it or not, we tend to be a product of our environment (and this doesn't even count my belief in the presence of sin as a key factor to why people are all born bad, in my opinion). So the Black child (a boy in particular) who grows up without a father generally does not have certain key elements of manhood passed down to him. What do I mean by this? Well, let me just say that is my belief that while a mother and father both equally impart important life lessons to a child (a boy in this case), a father has a particular role in teaching his son the value of accepting responsibility, honour, treating women properly, etc. Without that father teaching his son about these things (and enforcing them through example), the child grows up without a compass of masculinity. As a result, he seeks the acceptance he probably subconsciously wants from his father, so he will join a gang to get it. Women will be regarded as objects to be used, rather than people to love. Having a child would be considered a collateral event as a result of "hitting it" rather than a responsibility to be accepted.

Now, before you target me a closet racist (or even an overt racist), consider the following: I am really targeting my rant here towards young Black people. With older Black folks, it's a different ballgame. I have a deep respect for Black elders - if you look at Black folks who are 45+ years old, chances are you will see them married with kids, just like the rest of us. I guess I am talking about Black men here. In fact, one of the people on this earth I have the most respect for, is my former boss at work, who of all my bosses I have ever had, took care of my career and job development more than anyone else - he secured fantastic raises for me during the time I worked for him and he really looked out for my well being and best interest, career-wise, as well as peronal-wise. I actually will likely be leaving my company of 11 years and joining him within the next year, as a Network Manager at his establishment (he's the C.E.O., by the way). He also happens to be a born-again Christian, and a mature one at that. And this is one thing I really like about older Black people - there is a deep sense of spirituality that is very strong. I am not entirely sure where there is such a dichotomy between older Blacks and younger Blacks, but that's what I've noticed.

Now, I don't want to give the wrong impression here - a lot of Black folks are equally as concerned about this problem in the "community". I am on an Asian cultural discussion forum and one of the topics one day was why you seldom see Asian male, Black female couples. Most of the Asian males did not bother responding to the topic, so one of the gals there, who is extremely articulate and well spoken, answered the question - it's the stereotype of Black people out there - the stereotype of the Black man is well known, but Black women are portrayed in the media as loud-mouthed, opinionated, fat-assed, rude bit..., er...persons. Now, I can tell you that that is a total media construct, as I have met more than my fair share of Black women who do not fit that stereotype in the least, starting when I was in high school. In fact, before I met my wife, I went on a couple of casual walks (don't know if I'd consider them dates or not, probably not) with this girl I met at our school named Lorna (interestingly enough, she was from the same town/city my wife is from). She was a really kind-hearted girl. And she was Black. A number of my female friends in school in grade 12 were Black - from Guyana, etc.). I know several Black ladies nowadays who are kindest, loveliest friends that we have. I know the stereotype is not true. Besides, you see these Rosanne Barr and Rosie O'Donnell types and know that loud-mouthed obnoxious women are not unique to Blacks.

(I'M NOT FINISHED THIS POST YET - MORE TO COME)...