The Value of Commitment

Last Friday, my colleagues and my current manager took me out for a really nice luncheon, to celebrate my ten (10) years of service working for my company. Hard to believe a decade has gone by. I remember, when I first got this job, my Dad said to me, "you'll be lucky if you last a year." This was hardly encouraging, but he was probably looking at it from the perspective that I had absolutely no formal IT experience, and I was entering a fast-paced emerging technology sector, and it was sink or swim, and he knew that I wasn't terribly fond of the pool. Well, ten years later, multiple technical certifications later, and a couple of promotions later, I can't say that it's been all that bad.

Now, I would be lying to you if I told you that the whole time, it was all peachy and I had the time of my life. Fact of the matter is, I went through several periods where I thought that I was going to lose my job, due to constant pressures from potential offshoring opportunities or from competitors winning our contracts, but in the end, I'm still here. I had a few years with a fairly demanding manager and we never really got along all that well. I used to manage a country-wide team of technical people. Now, the team is reduced to a local level - everyone else, including many senior people, were let go. My job isn't exactly the most exciting, but it pays the bills and I've long since adopted the dual mentality that work is only a means to an end, but also the fact that there are greater purposes to me being here that I may not know about. As a Christian, I have to accept the (oftentimes difficult) notion that God may place you somewhere that may not be ideal, but He has a purpose for you being there. It has been hard to accept this over the years, since I had quickly developed the mentality that I must climb the corporate ladder, earn an insane income and get ahead career-wise. Having a child changed all that. While I put my best foot forward everyday in my job, since I like earning the paycheque, I realize that in the end, it's just a job. Even though I'm not yet on my deathbed, I believe the old adage is very true in that no one generally has regrets at the twilight of their life, that they didn't work more hours or make more money.

I have had opportunities over the years to get other jobs - sometimes I have pursued them. Sometimes, they have pursued me. Some of the positions were quite senior and they offered me oodles of cash, but in a few cases, I turned it down because of the requirement to travel and be away from the family.

I knew of a fellow with whom I used to work in the office, who told me that his goal is life is to constantly move ahead from a career perspective, and as such, he does not feel any particular loyalty to any particular employer; in fact, he says that most employers will screw you over when times get tough, so why bother even remotely form any gesture of loyalty? I can see his point - companies these days don't really put as much value on their employees being loyal. I've seen folks who have worked with the same company for 35 years get their walking papers one morning with no forewarning and no advance notice. That bothers me. However, when it comes down to it, I have to disagree with my former colleague and the reason why constitutes the topic that I am floating today: the value of commitment.

I've had this discussion with people both inside and outside of the workplace for years. Why do people leave their jobs? Now, we're talking voluntary separation here, not forced attrition through mass layoffs and such. Well, I believe there are only a handful of reasons people leave their jobs. One, and I believe this to be the primary reason, is because they believe they are not being paid what they feel they are worth. Regardless of how you spin this, it ultimately comes down to them wanting more money. That is, of course, personal choice, but I have seen staff leave here for apparently greener pastures monetarily, only to find that the grass is actually astroturf on the other side, and in a short time, they are looking for something else or, in some cases, even want their old job back. So the first reason is purely financial (again, I am not knocking people for making the decision - their family needs may require them to make more money). The second reason why I believe people leave their jobs often these days is because they are not challenged. If you isolate and dissect this statement out, you will ultimately see that it has to do with their career mobility, which has a direct correlation to getting a higher position which ultimately leads to higher pay. The third reason I believe people are changing jobs is because of an inability to get along with their co-workers or their management. Again, I am not slighting anyone who makes this decision, as I'm sure it would be difficult forcing yourself to get out of bed to face people who put you down or were hard on you all day. Another reason, which I won't itemize here is the vague, "I just need a change", which I believe essentially equates to one of the three reasons I did itemize. No one leaves a job for no reason.

All this being said, I have some concerns about some of this mentality, even though I can truly empathize with the reasoning behind it. First, all this ultimately comes down to what a company can do FOR ME. The self is the focus here, as is fairly instant gratification. This line of thinking absolutely permeates throughout our current societal social mores and worldviews. You buy a car no longer to get from here to there, but it's also the prestige of how the car makes you feel (if it's a high-end car), and the amount of luxury items in the car. Who doesn't want a GPS system, electrically controlled heated seats, electronic controlled seat adjustments, etc. This is all not for someone else's pleasure, but for your own. Once the car gets past a few years, it's time for an upgrade. Of course, most times, these cars are leased, so it's not like people are even making a commitment to pay the damn thing off first. It's the constant I need to have the latest this or that. That trickles into how we think of everything else in life, including our jobs. When the job stops "doing it for me", I will look for something else. Granted, few of us would go to our place of work and put in a day of work for free, but when we are there, we are thinking more of what we can get out of it rather than what we can put in. I've had these thoughts during my ten years here. But for me, I still think there is value in showing a level of commitment to a company which is paying you for doing your work, through the good times and the bad times. I'm glad that I stuck it out, since I would have missed out on many friendships/relationships and opportunities had I left. I remember in 1998/99, after our small company was swallowed by the big U.S.-based corporate behemoth, several senior technical directors got let go. One of the guys, who I highly respected technically but not as much so from a personal level, offered me a job with a company that he joined shortly after he was packaged out. I sat in with him and toured downtown facility with him and he offered me double my salary at that time. He offered me a very senior position where I can make many of the technology decisions independently. He took me out to lunch and gave me a full tour of the benefits and compensation package. I met the VP of the company. They were sold on the fact that they wanted me there. But I turned down the job. Yes, it was a lot of money, but again, there was something that I just couldn't put my finger on that made me uncomfortable. Anyhow, I didn't take the job, and they weren't happy. Within a year, that company was no more. I'm glad I stuck it out here.

I have been married for almost 10 years now. It will be 10 years next year, and both my wife and I are excited about the prospect of celebrating such a milestone. Marriage has been a lot of hard work, but well worth it. When you have two people who are uniquely different people making a covenant or promise or vow to one another to love each other and to support each other, even when life throws garbage at you, that is pretty serious stuff. It's easy for anyone to say the vows, but I think that keeping them is the challenge. As in any relationship, there is bound to be friction. If you don't agree with me here, you are either living a delusional existence, or more to the point, you are full of shit and in some serious denial. Almost everyone I know who is married or have close friends or family, will at one point bicker or fight with each other. The people who don't are hiding something. Ah...but you say that Christians should not disagree or argue or fight. Says who? Did you see Jesus and his disciples? The closest people to Him? The disciples argued with each other on a fairly regular basis. And even at times, Jesus became flustered with these guys for bickering amongst themselves. They were human. We are no different. I find it laughable to hear some Christians and non-Christians confidently state that they have never argued with their friends or their spouse or their family. I would question what level and the quality of the communication in which they engage in their relationship, not to mention their level of honesty.

My wife and I have argued and bickered and argued some more. Sometimes, we have done it publicly. But the key here is, we work things out. We spent years doing relationship book studies every Thursday night as a way for us to continually connect and communicate with each other, despite hectic work schedules and the added responsibility for caring for a child. The key here is that when times get tough, what does it say about your character when you decide to bail? While this is not the forum to discuss this, I am constantly shocked by how people seemingly hold Hollywood celebrities in such high esteem and follow their life ruminations, even though practically all of them have fractured or broken marriages. I think it should be illegal for celebrities to take marriage vows. This whole "irreconcilable differences" justification for divorce annoys me to no end. I don't believe there is such a thing; rather, it is a euphemism for giving up, not trying, throwing in the towel, waving the white flag, or whatever other cliche you wish to insert here. People just don't work on their relationships anymore. And why not? Because there are an army of unhappy people who are just waiting to flirt and jump in the sack with you, especially in today's age where people can set up discreet meetings over the internet and over email. One of my former managers was victimized this way when his wife cheated on him and he found out using technology to battle technology. In our consumeristic society, why bother working to fix something when you can just discard it and get something new. Sadly, marriages have become the ultimate thing to discard.

Look at our kids and our elderly. How many of these freaking "baby boomers" (and I emphasize the baby part) put their parents in nursing homes? This is something that seems to be ever-so-much-more common nowadays. Again, it's the whole "use and discard" mentality. The parents did their job, so I now put them into a home and the home will call me when they die. So sad. Rather than take in their parents and care for them (heaven forbid we actually think of someone else other than ourselves!), we pass them on to someone else. Sort of like...our kids. I am proud to say that my son has never had a primary caregiver other than his Mom, who stays at home with him - he's now in school. My wife and I made a decision - and a very hard one - to have her stay at home with him and set up a home business to supplement income. Sure, you may think, we could buy a bigger house and another car and boatloads of crap that we don't need if she worked outside the home and we put him in daycare, but again, we just don't share that mentality. Besides, I'd like to see where your kids are in 20 years, compared to my kids.

This lack of commitment mentality seeps into people's spirituality as well. Now, I am no spiritual giant, nor am I in any position to dispense spiritual guidance; however, I can say that I've talked with enough people who have questioned God's existence or His motives, based on what goes on in the world. Something bad happens - God is blamed. Something good happens - God is seldom mentioned. It's like people just can't take the bad with the good. Selective spirituality seems to be quite common. Of course, if you have a gander at the Bible, it makes no promises that the followers of Christ will have cushy lives. In fact, it indicates the direct opposite. Bad things likely will happen to you. People will dislike you. You will be hated - even by your own family! You may even pay the ultimate price and be put to death. But as the Bible states, that is the price of following Jesus, and the commitment that is required.

Whether is your job, your marriage, your kids or parents, or your faith, there is commitment required. If you don't step in with both feet, you'll simply be left looking for the next thing that will bring you a degree of satisfaction and purpose. Remember, in anything, there is always the ups and the downs, the good and the bad. There is a time for everything, as it says in the book of Ecclesiastes. The challenge for us, is...are we willing to accept the bad with the good, and hang in there when times get tough?