You would think in this day and age, nothing would surprise you, but I continue to be horrified by some of the things I read in the newspaper everyday. It should come as no surprise, from a theological perspective, since those of us who have read Scripture know that people are innately evil and sinful and while the manifestations of this sometimes are kept in check...in 2009, society seems to value individual freedoms over societal responsibility. In other words, pretty much anything goes, and there are no controls and worthwhile deterrents towards certain behaviours. You see it all the time in how young people nowadays spit in the face of authority, whether it be the police, teachers, or their parents. And life seemingly has little value, given how some people will willfully abort children or kill someone over something as trivial as a pack of cigarettes or for looking at them the wrong way.
I cringed as I read a very sad report of a gang rape that occurred in Richmond, California, last weekend. During a homecoming dance, a 15-year-old girl was waiting to meet up with her dad, when she got lured into a secluded area where she was offered alcohol, became intoxicated, and ended up being viciously gang-raped by a number of boys/men, all the while up to 20 people were watching and filming it. It was only through someone who overheard this incident happening several blocks away, when police were finally notified and they found the victim unconscious and barely clinging on to life.
Two people (if I can use that term loosely) have been arrested, one a 15-year-old, whose name cannot be mentioned for some reason, and a 19-year-old, Manuel Ortega, who was caught running from the scene. If Ortega is in fact guilty, I hope that he gets put into a nice prison full of folks who are itching to show this bastard what a real gang rape is like. Honestly, I really don't understand (I really, really don't) why anyone would attack a girl like this, and moreover, why so many people would just look on, laugh about it, tell their friends, and in some cases, participate. My first question is, what kind of parents did these kids have?
Now, there have been more details about the environment - Richmond is apparently a rougher neighbourhood and has a high concentration of hispanics. That may partially explain some of the behaviour - I know it's not PC to say this, but if you look at any ghetto area in the state of California, it's not Whites and it's not Asians who are perpetrating rapes, drive-by shootings, and gang murders. Sadly, these other segments of society (Blacks and Hispanics), while overwhelmingly liberal in their political views, have a higher rate of absentee fathers, a healthy respect for girls and women, and a solid family structure. That kind of environment will foster these types of dregs in society, who believe that they are entitled to sexually take advantage of a young girl who made a bad choice to become inebriated in the presence of teenaged boys. Who knows what will happen to this poor girl - obviously her life has changed and she may end up not being able to cope with such a sad, sad tragedy.
Unfortunately, California is one of the most liberal States in the U.S., and with the ACLU in full force and rape not being a capital crime, that 15-year-old will probably be out in a few years, while Ortega may be out in a few more after that. Let's just hope there is some dispensing of prison justice for these guys as well as the others who will eventually get caught.
I also hope for a speedy physical recovery and for the best outcome possible, emotionally, for this young girl, who, regardless of any bad choices that she may have made that night, did not deserve to be raped in any way, shape or form.
The second story that I read today involves a married father of a three-year-old toddler in Florida. Now, here's a hispanic hero if there ever was one. He had some European guy stay over at his house as an overnight guest. In the morning, after he left, his three-year-old son reported to him that the house guest had molested him in the middle of the night. So what did this upstanding and responsible father do? Did he do what society prescribes and call the cops and let them be frustrated at not being able to make an arrest due to some bureaucratic challenge or the inability to conjure up enough evidence? You know, my son is almost seven and never once has he mentioned to me that anyone has molested him. If he ever does, I know to take it seriously. So for a three-year-old to report to his father that he was molested, any father should take seriously. Kids don't just make this crap up, you know! Anyway, this heroic father did the sensible thing and did not waste the police's time. Instead, he grabbed one of his neighbours (a heroic Black guy, also to be commended to help his friend), and tracked down this pedophile and gave him some home-cooked justice. The cops found the perv bleeding profusely from the head. And sure enough, rather than commending a father for doing his JOB and taking his perental RESPONSIBILITY seriously, what do the cops do? They arrest the father and he's now in jail. The poor boy's mother was interviewed and she, in tears, said she doesn't understand why the father, who was just protecting his son, is now behind bars. Every single neighbour, who was interviewed, said they would have done the same thing, had it been their kid who was molested.
Rather than arrest him, they should have given Mr. Manuel Vega a medal. Same for the Black neighbour, Krish Carter. Good job guys, and I hope that there is enough backlash towards the authorities that they let these guys go and drop the charges. People may complain about "vigilante justice" and such, but remember, if people had total faith in justice system and know that it would fairly prosecute criminals, rather than letting them loose via a plethora of technicalities, stuff like this would never happen. As such, this is what happens the the justice system, and by extension, the government, fails its citizens.
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label children. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Is It Okay To Yell At Other People's Kids?
Late this afternoon, my wife, son, baby daughter, and I went to the local bowling alley. Originally we were supposed to go to a fairly modernized, well-lit alley, but in the end, we went to one closer, one which is known for lots of little kids being there. In fact, my son had his birthday party there this year, and it was a blast. This bowling alley is older, more darker, and the technology is not as advanced, but my son wanted to go to this one, as a last minute change of heart, so we agreed.
We paid for an hour's worth of bowling and off we went. The first thing I noticed was that there was only one bowling ball available to us in our alley and the lane to the left of us only had 2-3. I thought it was strange that they did not seem well stocked, as far as their bowling ball availability went, so I hunted around and it didn't take long to find out where all the balls went - there was a birthday party taking 4 lanes up (this is 5-pin with rails). They hoarded all the balls. I went over and grabbed a couple from their 30 or so balls (in one lane!) that they had.
After my son bowled the first frame, I noticed that the balls weren't returning properly. I thought that our lane was broken, so I went to talk to the manager. He pointed out that there was nothing wrong with the lane, but instead one of the kids from the birthday party kept coming up to our lane and when the ball was returned, he'd stop it before it reached the incline, so all the balls were backed up. I can't believe that as observant as I normally am, that I didn't see this. So he fixed it for me, and I was watching. Sure enough, just like a rat coming out at night when no one was watching, this pain-in-the-ass kid snuck up to our lane while my wife took her turn and stopped the balls from coming back. I stepped up to the ball return and glared at him. To my surprise, he looked at me, and kept doing it. I looked over to his family, who looked over at me and then said, "Zachary, come here please." Of course, pain-in-the-ass kid did not listen to them, until the fourth or fifth time they insisted. I kept an eye on things while it was my turn to bowl and he didn't come back.
The manager walked over to me and rolled his eyes, saying, "Sorry about this - we get these pain in the ass kids all the time along with their more pain in the ass parents. I just had a party here where the kids were going to various lanes and stealing the balls from other participants." Then he proceeded to preach to the choir, telling me how he wishes parents would give their kids a swat on the bottom more these days, and said it in a meek, apologizing way, not knowing what my position was. I said, "damn right - if that punk bothers us again, I'll say something to him", and the manager said, "please do".
My son went to bowl again and sure enough, this kid, who must have been 3-4 years old, comes back again and blocks our balls from returning by sticking his hand out before the ball hits the return uphill incline. My son was getting irritated, but did not say anything. I then said to the kid, "Uh, can you not touch my balls, please?" (probably not the most quotable thing to say to a kid, but he was so dumb, he wouldn't have remembered anyways). He stepped away. On my second throw, he came back and balls started backing up again. So I turned to him and got angry, "Get your freaking hands off our balls and get the hell out of here!" (yes, that is what I said, and yes, if I were to do it again, I'd say the same thing). Finally, taking a hint, his older sister or friend (about 7-8) came and grabbed the kid, and I then threw a menacing glance over at his parents, who said, "Zachary, please don't do that." No gesture of apology or firm correction for this behaviour. No wonder he was like that - his parents must have been graduates of the Shitty Parenting School of Ontario. Unfortunately, I have seen more than my fair share of these parents, and it always seems to be at birthday parties joints for kids. I remember a few weeks back, my son was invited to a Chuck E Cheese party - we had a great time seeing our friends there, and my son had fun, but I had to police the games he was playing, because without a doubt, there were tons of these other kids who I just know did not come from stable homes, and in all cases out of curiosity, my eyes followed them back to their table, and yep, single mom in charge. During that day, I had to yell at several kids, who took my son's Chuck E Cheese tickets once they spat out of the machine, kids who butted in front of my son in line (that was fun - I really gave it to them) and another kid, who pushed my son out of the way. Honestly, these are our future inmates in our penitentiary system, ladies and gentlemen.
Now, just like my wife did today, other parents did at Chuck E Cheese. My wife told me I did not have to get mad at the kid, just like the other parents at Chuck E Cheese gave me odd looks. My simple answer: damn right I had to get mad at them. I was probably the only person in that child's history who disseminated something the looked like order to them.
Now, I know what my wife was REALLY thinking, and I'm sure what other parents may think: that these days, yelling at another person's kid is not acceptable, given the touchy-feely attitude towards kids as delicate creatures who must have their self-worth and self-esteem shielded at all costs. Plus, as an aside, I may be giving the impression that I was not in control of my emotions and my temper was out of check. Well, to paraphrase Humphrey Bogart, frankly my dear, I don't give a shit.
How children choose to drive their parents nuts is their parents' problem. If they choose not to listen to their parents, well, that's for their parents to figure out. Those are not my kids. The only exception is for kids who are related to me or who are part of our church family. I obviously have more of a responsibility in this area, though even then, there are some things I would never do. Spanking another kid is one of them - I only spank my kid. I can correct another kid verbally, but that's about as far as I go. Interestingly though, I have never once had to yell at a relative kid or a kid who is in our church family. These kids are all from stable two-parent homes who teach discipline, so in a sense, they are like us.
But for others, it is a different story. Again, it doesn't matter a whole lot to me whether a stranger's kid listens to his/her parents or not. Where I do have an issue is when their kid's bad behaviour infringes on the rights of my family or friends. In the case of Chuck E Cheese, I wasn't about to idly sit by and watch my son get pushed, or give my son the impression that people who butt in line in front of us will automatically be OK with us, or that it's OK for these kids to steal my son's hard-earned Chuck E Cheese ticket. It is NOT OK, and in fact, the issue I have is the lack of respect these kids (there were a lot of commonalities amongst these kids other than from single-mother homes, but I won't go there just now) for others. Many parents nowadays, with their non-confrontational approach to things, do not want to create a scene. How sad. And what does this teach their own kids, who watch their own parents accept bad behaviour?
Now, as for how I look when I correct other kids - I think by now you can safely surmise that I really don't care whether what I do is socially acceptable to others. I really don't care - honestly, I don't. Whether you like me or hate my guts, that's not my concern - I have more important things to deal with than how I come across to others. For one, I know that I am teaching my son some valuable lessons about not letting others bully you - and ladies and gentlemen, that is essentially what is happening - by allowing - my goodness - little children to infringe on your rights to peaceful enjoyment of an activity - that passivism is showing both your cowardice as well as your complacency. Don't you care that other kids are mis-behaving, and as a direct result, your liberty to enjoy your activity is being infringed upon? I don't know about you, but I paid good money for that hour of bowling and I wasn't going to have some brat screw up the ball returns for our son. It's no different than people who have a noisy neighbour who make a racket all night, but never call the cops on them; instead, like good passive Canadians, they simply bitch and moan, without actually doing anything.
In the end, I don't regret getting upset at Zachary. He certainly needed to hear that he just can't do whatever he pleases whenever he wants. Obviously his parents aren't teaching him that - I feel sad for that, but that's for them to figure out. As for me, if anyone infringes on my personal liberty or the liberty of my family, you can be sure that they will not be met with passive response, at least not from me. Hopefully, by more parents taking this approach, we will be able to start correcting a disturbing trend of kids growing up with no respect or fear for elders, authority figures and such. At the very least, even if we may not be able to change other kids, we are providing a positive value-based life lesson for our own children, and doing them a favour in the long-run.
We paid for an hour's worth of bowling and off we went. The first thing I noticed was that there was only one bowling ball available to us in our alley and the lane to the left of us only had 2-3. I thought it was strange that they did not seem well stocked, as far as their bowling ball availability went, so I hunted around and it didn't take long to find out where all the balls went - there was a birthday party taking 4 lanes up (this is 5-pin with rails). They hoarded all the balls. I went over and grabbed a couple from their 30 or so balls (in one lane!) that they had.
After my son bowled the first frame, I noticed that the balls weren't returning properly. I thought that our lane was broken, so I went to talk to the manager. He pointed out that there was nothing wrong with the lane, but instead one of the kids from the birthday party kept coming up to our lane and when the ball was returned, he'd stop it before it reached the incline, so all the balls were backed up. I can't believe that as observant as I normally am, that I didn't see this. So he fixed it for me, and I was watching. Sure enough, just like a rat coming out at night when no one was watching, this pain-in-the-ass kid snuck up to our lane while my wife took her turn and stopped the balls from coming back. I stepped up to the ball return and glared at him. To my surprise, he looked at me, and kept doing it. I looked over to his family, who looked over at me and then said, "Zachary, come here please." Of course, pain-in-the-ass kid did not listen to them, until the fourth or fifth time they insisted. I kept an eye on things while it was my turn to bowl and he didn't come back.
The manager walked over to me and rolled his eyes, saying, "Sorry about this - we get these pain in the ass kids all the time along with their more pain in the ass parents. I just had a party here where the kids were going to various lanes and stealing the balls from other participants." Then he proceeded to preach to the choir, telling me how he wishes parents would give their kids a swat on the bottom more these days, and said it in a meek, apologizing way, not knowing what my position was. I said, "damn right - if that punk bothers us again, I'll say something to him", and the manager said, "please do".
My son went to bowl again and sure enough, this kid, who must have been 3-4 years old, comes back again and blocks our balls from returning by sticking his hand out before the ball hits the return uphill incline. My son was getting irritated, but did not say anything. I then said to the kid, "Uh, can you not touch my balls, please?" (probably not the most quotable thing to say to a kid, but he was so dumb, he wouldn't have remembered anyways). He stepped away. On my second throw, he came back and balls started backing up again. So I turned to him and got angry, "Get your freaking hands off our balls and get the hell out of here!" (yes, that is what I said, and yes, if I were to do it again, I'd say the same thing). Finally, taking a hint, his older sister or friend (about 7-8) came and grabbed the kid, and I then threw a menacing glance over at his parents, who said, "Zachary, please don't do that." No gesture of apology or firm correction for this behaviour. No wonder he was like that - his parents must have been graduates of the Shitty Parenting School of Ontario. Unfortunately, I have seen more than my fair share of these parents, and it always seems to be at birthday parties joints for kids. I remember a few weeks back, my son was invited to a Chuck E Cheese party - we had a great time seeing our friends there, and my son had fun, but I had to police the games he was playing, because without a doubt, there were tons of these other kids who I just know did not come from stable homes, and in all cases out of curiosity, my eyes followed them back to their table, and yep, single mom in charge. During that day, I had to yell at several kids, who took my son's Chuck E Cheese tickets once they spat out of the machine, kids who butted in front of my son in line (that was fun - I really gave it to them) and another kid, who pushed my son out of the way. Honestly, these are our future inmates in our penitentiary system, ladies and gentlemen.
Now, just like my wife did today, other parents did at Chuck E Cheese. My wife told me I did not have to get mad at the kid, just like the other parents at Chuck E Cheese gave me odd looks. My simple answer: damn right I had to get mad at them. I was probably the only person in that child's history who disseminated something the looked like order to them.
Now, I know what my wife was REALLY thinking, and I'm sure what other parents may think: that these days, yelling at another person's kid is not acceptable, given the touchy-feely attitude towards kids as delicate creatures who must have their self-worth and self-esteem shielded at all costs. Plus, as an aside, I may be giving the impression that I was not in control of my emotions and my temper was out of check. Well, to paraphrase Humphrey Bogart, frankly my dear, I don't give a shit.
How children choose to drive their parents nuts is their parents' problem. If they choose not to listen to their parents, well, that's for their parents to figure out. Those are not my kids. The only exception is for kids who are related to me or who are part of our church family. I obviously have more of a responsibility in this area, though even then, there are some things I would never do. Spanking another kid is one of them - I only spank my kid. I can correct another kid verbally, but that's about as far as I go. Interestingly though, I have never once had to yell at a relative kid or a kid who is in our church family. These kids are all from stable two-parent homes who teach discipline, so in a sense, they are like us.
But for others, it is a different story. Again, it doesn't matter a whole lot to me whether a stranger's kid listens to his/her parents or not. Where I do have an issue is when their kid's bad behaviour infringes on the rights of my family or friends. In the case of Chuck E Cheese, I wasn't about to idly sit by and watch my son get pushed, or give my son the impression that people who butt in line in front of us will automatically be OK with us, or that it's OK for these kids to steal my son's hard-earned Chuck E Cheese ticket. It is NOT OK, and in fact, the issue I have is the lack of respect these kids (there were a lot of commonalities amongst these kids other than from single-mother homes, but I won't go there just now) for others. Many parents nowadays, with their non-confrontational approach to things, do not want to create a scene. How sad. And what does this teach their own kids, who watch their own parents accept bad behaviour?
Now, as for how I look when I correct other kids - I think by now you can safely surmise that I really don't care whether what I do is socially acceptable to others. I really don't care - honestly, I don't. Whether you like me or hate my guts, that's not my concern - I have more important things to deal with than how I come across to others. For one, I know that I am teaching my son some valuable lessons about not letting others bully you - and ladies and gentlemen, that is essentially what is happening - by allowing - my goodness - little children to infringe on your rights to peaceful enjoyment of an activity - that passivism is showing both your cowardice as well as your complacency. Don't you care that other kids are mis-behaving, and as a direct result, your liberty to enjoy your activity is being infringed upon? I don't know about you, but I paid good money for that hour of bowling and I wasn't going to have some brat screw up the ball returns for our son. It's no different than people who have a noisy neighbour who make a racket all night, but never call the cops on them; instead, like good passive Canadians, they simply bitch and moan, without actually doing anything.
In the end, I don't regret getting upset at Zachary. He certainly needed to hear that he just can't do whatever he pleases whenever he wants. Obviously his parents aren't teaching him that - I feel sad for that, but that's for them to figure out. As for me, if anyone infringes on my personal liberty or the liberty of my family, you can be sure that they will not be met with passive response, at least not from me. Hopefully, by more parents taking this approach, we will be able to start correcting a disturbing trend of kids growing up with no respect or fear for elders, authority figures and such. At the very least, even if we may not be able to change other kids, we are providing a positive value-based life lesson for our own children, and doing them a favour in the long-run.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Fatherhood, Part II
A few weeks ago, my wife and I welcomed into our family a brand new baby girl. We couldn't be more delighted, especially after experiencing a miscarriage in 2006 (which, for those who have experienced one, you will know that it really sucks, and for those who haven't, take my word for it that it really sucks). We eagerly anticipated the arrival of our new little one, and I for one could not have been more happy. My wife knew it was a girl during one of her previous ultrasounds, but me, being more of a traditionalist, didn't want to know until the doctor announced it officially. People have asked me in the past few months whether I looked more forward to a boy or a girl. It really didn't matter to me - the fact that I was going to be a Dad again was enough satisfaction. My wife was indicating that all she wants was for the baby to have ten fingers and ten toes, but you know, for me, I didn't even care about that. I was truly prepared for as much as I could be prepared for - had the baby come out with a deformity or a developmental condition or some other health issue, it wouldn't be cause for celebration, but I was at peace knowing that however our baby ended up turning out, God would give us the strength to continue to love him/her to the best of our ability. I'm not just saying that - I really honestly mean it.
So when our little girl popped out (well, she was delivered by c-section, but that's another story for another time), and it was announced that she was a girl, I was a bit surprised. Not because I didn't want a girl (far from it), but that I was so sure that it was a boy, based on a speaking error that the first ultrasound technician made - a definite slip of the tongue, that I bet my wife $500.00 that it was a boy - I was so sure of it (and I'm not a guy who bets at all). Well, either the technician and my wife knowingly played out a convincing subterfuge, or I simply learned a lesson to not be so sure of my ability to deduce subtle speaking errors. Either way, I am out five hundred bones.
It has been over two weeks since my daughter was born, and have to say, I am very glad that I have a girl. In retrospect, I think that it didn't have to take two weeks for me to realize this - I remember when she was born, I felt this immense pride and started crying in the operating room, though I limited my display since my wife probably didn't need to see me crying as she was being cut open.
Sure, babies are babies and you don't see the male/female differences coming out en masse, but there is just something special, something magical (I hate using that word, but I'll use it now) about a father holding onto his little girl. Sure, cliches abound, with "Daddy's Girl" and other monikers being tossed around, but you know, it feels different with a girl in tow. For me, it's as if I feel that I need to achieve a new level of protectionism for my child. I guess with boys, my inkling is that as they get older, they generally can learn to defend oneself and boys are generally a bit on the aggressive side anyway. Girls, on the other hand - call me old fashioned, but Trish Stratus aside, my way of thinking just does not include girls fighting off others using their fists, and such. And let's face it, and it's not paranoia - girls are more likely to be attacked by predators throughout their life. It is my job to protect my little girl, and I welcome the opportunity to be able to fulfill this role (this is by no means indicating that I look forward to kicking some as-of-yet-unknown male's ass in the future, but you know what I mean.
I also think about my wife and how she has probably had her fair share of my son and his Transformers fetish, following in the footsteps of his Dad. My son, praise God, will never be confused with a borderline (or even close) effeminate male. Of course, my wife, being a woman, probably has a harder time relating to him than a girl offspring - I mean, today my son was sick with a fever and in the late afternoon, I thought it would be relaxing if he and I took a bath together, but with squirt guns and super soakers in hand, shooting animal targets on the shower tap, and yelling in delight when we knocked the zebra or bear figurine into the water. I'm pretty sure this is not behaviour my wife would likely exhibit, so I am glad that we now have a girl that she will be able to relate to in due time, teach her how to become a woman, just like I am teaching my son how to become a man.
I also think - one day, she may decide to get married and have children of her own. I would be the one who would traditionally walk her down the aisle and hand her over to some guy who will obviously be taking my place as her future protector (or he better be, otherwise, he'll be the hypothetical aforementioned male who gets his ass kicked by yours truly).
In talking with my wife on this one, the second has definitely been easier, in most respects. I guess like anything else, we know what to expect, though obviously a lot can change quickly. We also leverage our son heavily, eliciting his help whenever necessary, to care for his new baby sister. He has, without question, been more than up to the task. Which I was reminded at church a couple of days ago by another parent, is something that we may have taken for granted - battling sibling jealously is something that just adds an extra layer of stress to an expanding family. Thankfully, we haven't had to deal with any of that, so yes, we are fortunate. Sure, our sleep patterns are no longer what they once were, once our son got accustomed to a regular bedtime and slept through the night and we can stay up and watch movies or whatever. On a day like today, where both kids are home and one is sick and the other is a bit fussy - well, I was telling my wife, it's hardly anything that I should complain about. The lack of sleep is not great, but that too, passes, as quickly as a toddler fart. I don't get those parents who want to have children badly, Very soon, our daughter will be sleeping through the night (hopefully sooner rather than later) and then she'll be talking and toilet training and then going to school, just like my little boy.
So when our little girl popped out (well, she was delivered by c-section, but that's another story for another time), and it was announced that she was a girl, I was a bit surprised. Not because I didn't want a girl (far from it), but that I was so sure that it was a boy, based on a speaking error that the first ultrasound technician made - a definite slip of the tongue, that I bet my wife $500.00 that it was a boy - I was so sure of it (and I'm not a guy who bets at all). Well, either the technician and my wife knowingly played out a convincing subterfuge, or I simply learned a lesson to not be so sure of my ability to deduce subtle speaking errors. Either way, I am out five hundred bones.
It has been over two weeks since my daughter was born, and have to say, I am very glad that I have a girl. In retrospect, I think that it didn't have to take two weeks for me to realize this - I remember when she was born, I felt this immense pride and started crying in the operating room, though I limited my display since my wife probably didn't need to see me crying as she was being cut open.
Sure, babies are babies and you don't see the male/female differences coming out en masse, but there is just something special, something magical (I hate using that word, but I'll use it now) about a father holding onto his little girl. Sure, cliches abound, with "Daddy's Girl" and other monikers being tossed around, but you know, it feels different with a girl in tow. For me, it's as if I feel that I need to achieve a new level of protectionism for my child. I guess with boys, my inkling is that as they get older, they generally can learn to defend oneself and boys are generally a bit on the aggressive side anyway. Girls, on the other hand - call me old fashioned, but Trish Stratus aside, my way of thinking just does not include girls fighting off others using their fists, and such. And let's face it, and it's not paranoia - girls are more likely to be attacked by predators throughout their life. It is my job to protect my little girl, and I welcome the opportunity to be able to fulfill this role (this is by no means indicating that I look forward to kicking some as-of-yet-unknown male's ass in the future, but you know what I mean.
I also think about my wife and how she has probably had her fair share of my son and his Transformers fetish, following in the footsteps of his Dad. My son, praise God, will never be confused with a borderline (or even close) effeminate male. Of course, my wife, being a woman, probably has a harder time relating to him than a girl offspring - I mean, today my son was sick with a fever and in the late afternoon, I thought it would be relaxing if he and I took a bath together, but with squirt guns and super soakers in hand, shooting animal targets on the shower tap, and yelling in delight when we knocked the zebra or bear figurine into the water. I'm pretty sure this is not behaviour my wife would likely exhibit, so I am glad that we now have a girl that she will be able to relate to in due time, teach her how to become a woman, just like I am teaching my son how to become a man.
I also think - one day, she may decide to get married and have children of her own. I would be the one who would traditionally walk her down the aisle and hand her over to some guy who will obviously be taking my place as her future protector (or he better be, otherwise, he'll be the hypothetical aforementioned male who gets his ass kicked by yours truly).
In talking with my wife on this one, the second has definitely been easier, in most respects. I guess like anything else, we know what to expect, though obviously a lot can change quickly. We also leverage our son heavily, eliciting his help whenever necessary, to care for his new baby sister. He has, without question, been more than up to the task. Which I was reminded at church a couple of days ago by another parent, is something that we may have taken for granted - battling sibling jealously is something that just adds an extra layer of stress to an expanding family. Thankfully, we haven't had to deal with any of that, so yes, we are fortunate. Sure, our sleep patterns are no longer what they once were, once our son got accustomed to a regular bedtime and slept through the night and we can stay up and watch movies or whatever. On a day like today, where both kids are home and one is sick and the other is a bit fussy - well, I was telling my wife, it's hardly anything that I should complain about. The lack of sleep is not great, but that too, passes, as quickly as a toddler fart. I don't get those parents who want to have children badly, Very soon, our daughter will be sleeping through the night (hopefully sooner rather than later) and then she'll be talking and toilet training and then going to school, just like my little boy.
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