Church Leadership is a Tough Gig

Hard to believe a year has passed since I posted anything here. My kids are now older, I am now greyer, and while I am not pushing 40 just yet, it's only a couple of years away now. It has been a really interesting year at church since I last posted about anything church related (July 2009 I think). Well, since then I was voted in as an elder (which was strange given how short of a time I was there) and God seemed to have used me fairly well immediately into the tenure, with some more seasoned elders remarking that I have quickly become a "key member of the board". I would say that some of the more interesting moments came in 2010, when, without going into gruesome details, the Senior Pastor left (something that to this day I should have done more to fight against), and I was called on to address a congregational meeting that very same day. I was asked to give a quick recap of some of the things that the board and the leadership are doing, and to provide some encouragement and I ended up talking for 10 minutes on the stage, answering a congregant's submitted question. I was the only board member who got applause for his answering the question, so hopefully that is a sign that it was well received.

Then perhaps the highlight of my whole church experience came on October 17 of last year (2010) where I was invited to be the featured preacher in front of a large audience of 400 people or so on a Sunday. This wasn't just an announcement, it was the exposition and teaching of God's Word. What a privilege and honour it was. It took me 4-6 weeks to prepare the sermon and in the end, it seemed to have gone really well, judging by the 30+ people who stopped by and gave some words of encouragement. To this day, people ask me if I will ever preach again, and it looks like I will, on May 1 of this year (I haven't given our interim Sr. Pastor the answer yet, but I am leaning towards yes).

But some stuff happened in between and it has been a weird journey to say the least. After my preaching time, I really thought that it was an indication to me that deciding to step out in faith and accept the elder role was the right choice. I would have never thought that a little over a month after that fantastic experience, I would decide to tender my resignation in as a board member and an elder at my church. This came as a shock to many people who I guess valued and yearned for the plain and unfiltered and unflashy teaching of God's Word. All the reasons I resigned I will keep to myself, but suffice it to say, some of it was due to an almost exact same experience in serving on an elders nominating committee and seeing how elders were selected and not really vetted. But in the end, there were other reasons and I just chalked it up to personal reasons and just indicated that. In all this I emphasized repeatedly my commitment to staying at the church and serving in other capacities. Which, I suppose, surprised some people, since I guess it is standard fare for people who have a bad experience to just leave the church. I remember having dinner with one of the elders and his wife and she said that she is so glad that I am staying and I said, "why would you think I would leave?" Guess that's the pattern people are used to.

All that being said, I can provide some feedback on my second kick at the can as part of church leadership, and while it would have been nice to be able to give a comprehensive assessment after fulfilling an entire term, I just couldn't do it anymore, despite the overwhelming advice and counsel from other mature believers to stick it out. I had a couple of congregants who I trust, who also pleaded with me to stay. But in the end, I couldn't deal with the church politics anymore, and decided to step down, which I honestly believed is what God had led me to do (for a variety of reasons). This definitely ensured that I did not experience a repeat performance of my last eldership experience, where I simply stuck out the term, but admittedly my heart wasn't in it anymore.

It can be argued that I should have never been placed in such a position of leadership in the first place at my new church, given how short of a time I was at the church at that time. I think there is merit in this argument, and wouldn't disagree with it. All that being said, it was strange that the opportunity came up, and while I was on the board, I had unwavering support from both the congregation and the board members (I often got thanked for my service, even though it was a short one). I really did try my best and yield to God's direction in my time on the board - it made me much more effective in my short time as an elder, than it would have otherwise been, if I had tried to do it on my own efforts.

All this being said, I am am really glad that I am out of official church leadership right now. The biggest reason being: no expectations. I am not saying that I am now free to go out and drink myself into a stupor or smoke pot until the cows come home or go cheat on my wife or whatever, but what I mean is that I no longer feel the pressure to live up to a "standard" to which church leaders are held, either fairly or unfairly. I don't feel the need to attend every single church function because I am on the board (I still attend them now anyway, as a much relaxed congregant). Church leaders, unfortunately, are put on a pedestal and expected, rightly or wrongly, to "perform" to these expectations, most of which are unrealistic and unbiblical. The problem occurs, when the leaders forget to realize their own sinful mortality (Rom 3:23) and instead, decide to put on their best front while they are having difficulty doing this behind the scenes. I honestly don't envy their position, but I also realize how important it is to pray for your church leaders, even when you may not agree with them. It's a tough enough job as it is, and it is a volunteer job, when it comes down to it, so we really should give our church leaders the benefit of the doubt whenever possible, but more importantly, encourage and lift them up in prayer at all times. I am pretty sure one of the reasons why I had a fairly productive year as an elder was due to many people specifically praying for me. Now that I am on the other side of the coin, I do my best to ensure that the leaders have my prayer support. It is a tough job and one, which I dare say is between a rock and a hard place.

Eldership... and Elementary School - Then and Now

I've had a lot on my plate lately, including an unbelieveably discouraging experience heading up a nominating committee for our church's board of elders this year. What can I say? What I thought was going to be pretty straight forward ended up turning political, and I am seeing now that some people clearly have their own agendas. In truth, church is not much different than anywhere else, where you have competing priorities, viewpoints and egos. I'd rather not dissect the latest scenario, but I am starting more and more to think that being an elder is not worth all the aggravations that come with the job. The rewards are few (not that I'm looking for rewards), and I am just getting the sense that what I thought I was signing up for is actually not what I signed up for. My view of elder is someone who rises above politics and works, under the foundation of biblical principles to teach, admonish, encourage and disciple people. I think that I can offer these things without the elder title, and in fact, I think I was doing more of this before I signed up for this job. Now, it seems like it's down to politics and a popularity contest - I don't want to get sucked into this at all. When I start disliking a couple of the people that I work with, it's probably time I find something else to do before I end up doing or saying something that I regret later. But I'm going to cease this topic and turn my attention to something else a little more happier.

Last night, my wife and I had the privilege of attending a meet-and-greet at my son's new school (he will be going in the fall), where they introduced the junior and senior kindergarten staff, as well as the principal and vice-principal (both of whom are under 40). I have to say, if there is one time I actually felt like a parent, it was last night. And what a proud parent I was. I remember, not so long ago, that my son was born, and I cradled him in my arms, and promised him that I would look out for him and take care of him the rest of his life. In the last four years, he has developed into a wonderful little boy, and I am just awed that time has flown by so fast, and that he will be attending school in the fall. I was telling my wife, no doubt it will come sooner rather than later when he will be in high school, learn to drive, and go off to school.

Our meet-and-greet was in the library last night and I have to say, a lot has changed in 25 years or so. OK, so I'm still expecting card catalogues with the dewey decimal system. Now the public school library has top of the line technology (computers, presentation touch-boards), and even in kindergarten, there is a technology component. You would think that as an IT guy, I would have a ho-hum attitude towards this. But I am still in tremendous awe over how things have changed in such a short time (as short of a time as 25 years can be). My, how the years fly by.

Now, schools have peanut allergies, security concerns, class size concerns and working with people of different backgrounds. It is in this environment that my son will start his academic life, and I am excited that we have prepared him well. It will be sad to see him go to school, but that is a part of life, and we're just grateful to have had the chance to be his initial mentors (though obviously that will continue through life), as we hand him into the capable hands of his kindergarten teacher in a couple of months. I have a feeling that the years ahead will just fly by, and we're looking forward to hearing about his accomplishments and successes.

We love being parents.