Rape Is About Sex, Not Power

Haven't had that much time to write blog entries this year - between my wife being 8+ months pregnant and having to work like a dog, logging lots of overtime hours this year, I've been too tired to do anything, even writing and target shooting, both of which I thoroughly enjoy. However, I have a few minutes tonight and have been itching to discuss an issue that has been on my mind, the catalyst of my wanting to examine this issue coming recently in my inadvertent eavesdropping on a conversation while in line at the supermarket.

There are some things in life which over time, you have simply come to believe, whether it is through societal pressure, social conditioning, hearing what at first appears to be a well thought out argument, or simply for the reason that you didn't think it was worthwhile to ponder the other side of the coin. There are not a lot of positions for which I have flip-flopped (and especially more than once), but this is one of them, and I am now back to my original position, that I held more than 25 years ago.

Unfortunately, I learned the tragic meaning of the word "rape" when I was in grade two or so. Of course, it was from fellow students, who probably had no clue what they were talking about, but somehow heard it from their parents or others who probably should have exercised a bit more conversational discretion. Anyhow, I thought it was pretty disturbing that someone (a man) would force themselves sexually onto someone else (a woman). I remember that I was both confused and saddened. Nowadays, the word "rape" has been softened tremendously, with the hyperbolic and vague term "sexual assault", which can mean anything from lightly patting a woman's bottom to full forced intercourse. The word "rape" is almost never heard anymore, especially in media. I am not a sociologist, but as a guy with a half-functioning brain, I can offer some guesses as to why this is, the foremost of the reasons being the constant bantering of feminists over the years that rape (and I will use the word here, not for dramatic effect, but to ensure that the disturbing nature of this act is prominent in your minds) is not about sex, but about power (have a look at those who espouse this argument - they are almost always women, and more than often women with a clear ultra-left, pro-choice, feminist bent. Now, I will confess that for a good many years, about two decades or so, I found that explanation plausible, even during my late twenties, when I made a sharp return to my conventional conservative belief system that I have always had.

I don't have a whole lot that I agree with as far as the Roman Catholic church goes, but I certainly can say that they position on the cause of rape is dead-on. They posit that rape is as a result of lust, and if I can take that further and offer my position on this, I would contend that rape is in fact about sex, and not power.

I can hear the collective hearts of the feminists out there now, beating faster with every word I say here, with clenched teeth and matching fists, shaking their heads in disbelief that I would argue against their conventional wisdom. But you know, I have had some time to think about this and I can no longer find enough substance in their argument for me to subscribe to their position.

Again, I'm not sociologist or criminal pathologist, so while I cannot cite studies for you (all of which can be skewed and biased anyway) or line up a row of expert witnesses, I can say that a belief that rape is about sex and not power makes much more sense for the following reasons.

1) Look at the typical profile of a rapist. Generally lacks social skills and interaction. It's been shown that they have had copious amounts of exposure to pornography (which is about sex, not TV). As a former porn dealer, I can see where that line between fantasy and forcefully acting out what you see in porn can be crossed, though thankfully I've never crossed it. These perpetrators are usually not only social misfits, but have also not had any meaningful sexual relationships. Rapists are usually not married men. So these guys are likely not getting sex from anywhere and with almost all men, they eventually need a sexual outlet somehow (and habitual masturbation is unlikely to meet their needs). Combine that with a lack of social skills and interaction and add in a steady diet of porn, and you have a sex offender in waiting.

2) It eliminates any potential stimuli that may have emanated from the victim. Yes, this is a touchy point, but I want to reiterate that regardless of any sexual stimulus that may be present from a female wearing provocative clothing, it still does not warrant her being violated by an attacker. However, I absolutely will not subscribe to the notion that a woman who wears shorts so short that it looks like underwear, will not attract attention from men. A generally attractive woman wearing a tight halter top on a hot summer day will garner attention from men, and especially men who envision that a woman like that is one who is inviting sexual advances (wanted or not) - hell, that's what it's like in porn, so it must be true, right??? Anyhow, if you say that provocative or revealing clothing has anything to do with it, then it lends some credence to the sexualization argument, but of course, feminists would prefer to argue from a power/lack of power position as it is seems more socially explainable, textbook-wise.

3) If rape is about power, why is it that sex is always used? Those who disagree with me will argue that sex is only a tool, a means by which the ends are met. But you have to ask yourself. If you wanted to overpower and dominate someone, why choose sex? Why not just punch the living crap out of someone? Why not verbally and emotionally humiliate? It could be argued that forcing yourself on someone dominates them and achieves all the above objectives, but if this is the case, why is it that rapists almost always ejaculate? Isn't it enough to simply humiliate the victim sexually? Why do these rapists feel they must "finish"? I believe it is because their objective is not to humiliate and overpower their victim, but instead, find someone on whom they can fulfill their sick fantasies and desires. They basically have a selfish desire for sex and have decided that they must have it, even if it is at the expense of another human being. That is why you see senior citizens and children being raped - both of these groups are vulnerable and conversely are already on the lower end of the power scale. It is not about power - it is about easy access to fulfil the perpetrator's twisted desires. Another case in point - you see gang rapes in prisons among all-male populations. OK, in that case, there is another element in play - homoxexuality, but why are these generally heterosexual guys resorting to forcing homosexual sex on clearly weaker members of the population? Nothing to do with power. Everything to do with their need for sex. I don't like comparing humans to animals and very seldom draw comparisons, but you can look at it from the perspective of animals attacking weaker animals (and I don't think my comparison is too far off, since these criminals are pretty much animals). It is not because they want to exercise their power. It is almost always because they are hungry and need to fulfil their insatiable need for food. They happen to attack a weaker animal because they know that they are more likely to succeed in getting what they want.

Now, all this being said, I will be quick to add that I am not saying that sex crimes (notice from a legal and criminal perspective, these acts are called "sex crimes" and even the term sexual assault is not neutral, as it is indicative of a sexual aspect, so that can hardly be discarded) are devoid of elements of a power struggle or any aspects of domination. Similarly, I am not denying that these perpetrators have a warped, if not incomprehensible view of women and how they relate to women. I am simply arguing that I don't believe that in the minds of the attackers, that wanting to overpower their victim is their primary motivator. Overpowering is a means to end end, which is their forcing someone to meet their own selfish sexual needs. That, in my view, is the catalyst behind all rapes. It would certainly be interesting to read transcripts of interviews with convicted rapists (on their own volition - not controlled interviews by feminist psychologists asking leading questions) to see whether my hypothesis has any merit. I strongly suspect that I am not too far off here in my statements.